Election Day, Plus: Has the Internet Killed Cool?

My sister and I voted this morning, dutifully following the example set for us by our parents, and gleefully canceling out their votes. We do it every election, and it never ceases to feel good.

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In other news, have you guys heard the ubiquitous-to-pop-radio song Like a G6? It's catchy, and it sounds cool, and though I grasped the basic gist of what the song meant, many of the words were foreign to me. This is probably as it should be, as I am a nearly-40-year-old mom who hasn't seen the inside of a dance club in decades. Thanks to Urban Dictionary, though, I was able to get my geek on and translate.

First, though, here's a picture of the band, Far East Movement, so you can see how their Coolness Quotient far exceeds mine:

These people are clearly Too Cool for School. I'm probably too cool for . . . forget it; I'm not too cool for anything at all.

And now, the lyrics with translation:

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard (Easy: We put our alcohol on ice, like sensible people.)
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard (Still easy, but for the curious, "slizzard" is a "dirty south" term for drunk.)
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, in my ride, like Three 6 ("Sizzurp" is a very likely disgusting drink whose Urban Dictionary entry I'll paste here: The original formula: Promethazine w/Codeine syrup Any fruit flavored soda A jolly rancher Put it all in a styrofoam cup and enjoy. The codeine is mainly responsible for the euphoria felt after drinking sizzurp. Promethazine causes motor skill impairment, lethargy, and extreme drowsiness. If it doesn't have promethazine, it ain't real sizzurp. DXM is not a component of sizzurp, although it may produce vaguely similar effects to the above recipe in doses ranging from 150 - 250 mg. "Three 6" is a group comprising rappers from Tenessee.)
Now I'm feelin so fly like a G6 (It's a play on words! Even the lamest among us knows that "fly" is super-cool, and a G6 is A PLANE (a very expensive Gulfstream G650)! Oh, the hilarity!)
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now now now now now now I'm feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now now now now now now I'm feelin so fly like a G6

So there you have it. The song goes on in its catchy way, making me wonder about the fact that one of the singers repeats, "When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk (I can't decide whether it means that his charm radiates so strongly that it intoxicates even women who abstain from alcohol, or if it means that he realizes that certain women might feign intoxication in his presence in order to try to get something from him without being taken advantage of)," but that's pretty much it.

Anyway, I feel like Far East Movement would be really disappointed if they knew that I knew what all their slang meant. Isn't the point of slang, after all, to keep out undesirables? And isn't a middle-aged, lower-middle-class mom pretty much Undesirable No. 1 (me and Harry Potter, man--me and Harry Potter)? But the Internet allowed me to decipher their codes in mere keystrokes.

Nothing is sacred. Cool is dead. And now I'm off to find a red plastic cup to mix up a drink in.