Birthday Party #1

December is the month that keeps on giving for The Boy, as his birthday is eleven days before Christmas. It doesn't always work out quite this way, but this year he's getting to celebrate his birthday three times, and the first was a sleep over for his friends last Saturday night.

His dad, C, was here, to supply the pizza and get some cake, and my friend P was here, because The Boy loves her and because I needed an adult to hang out with once C made a break for it, and The Boy's friends M, J, and A spent the night. I had expected to spend most of the evening upstairs with P, watching Buffy episodes with P while the boys played video games downstairs, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

We had pizza, cake, and presents, and then when C left P and I headed upstairs as planned. We had just just started watching Buffy when we heard singing. Loud, off-key, fairly rhythm-free singing that sounded more like drunken carousing than anything else. The boys were playing Sing Star 80s, which is a sort of karoke game I bought myself when The Boy got his PS2. I have no idea why, but THAT'S what the boys decided to start off with. Imagine four twelve-year-old boys on two teams, sharing two microphones, and competing to see who was better at singing songs none of them knew (although to be fair, they ALL knew Eye of the Tiger and The Final Countdown). The only thing sadder (and funnier) than their rendition of Madonna's Material Girl was their attempt at Billy Joel's Uptown Girl. Think of the song, and think of the extended "whoa-oh-oh-OH-ohs" included in it. And then imagine boys who aren't familiar attempting to interpret the textual representations of those "whoa-ohs" and then sing them. Talk about SLAUGHTER. But they had a grand time, despite the fact that you couldn't have paid any of these kids to have taken part in the recent Middle School Musical, and that when they were in Lower School and HAD to be involved in stage productions and musicals, they'd all sort of stand on stage, hands in pockets, looking bored or sheepish or both as they worked their way through the songs. Maybe it was the element of competition that made them enjoy Sing Star? Maybe they'd have enjoyed the school productions more if winners were declared at the end? I don't know, but they really enjoyed their own miserable singing. And the laughing at each other.

The real fun started when one of the kids brought out his little Flip video camera, and the boys decided to make a movie. P and I saw some of the action, and heard most of it, and so pieced things together before getting to view the finished products. The movie was about a sort of bank heist, and opened with J and M playing the robbers. We learned this because they and A, the camera man, came upstairs and asked if we could pause the Buffy so they could pretend to climb in that particular window and thus film the break-in. I duly opened the window (despite the fact that it was 15-degrees outside), but wouldn't remove the screen as J asked me to do. In the words of M, "NO! What if you fall out?" Right.

So P and I were shunted to the side while the break-in was filmed. M played Dog, the tougher, smarter criminal, and J was Mutt, the comic relief. I don't know if the casting was on purpose, but J is a good head taller than M, so they made the classic Smart Little Guy/Dumb Big Guy cartoon team. Filming began with Dog already inside, and Mutt coming through the window. The set up and dialog made it appear that the two were surprised to see each other, as there were greetings and questions of, "How long ya been out?" (The incomprehensibility of the scene, delivered in tough-guy slang and voices, was too much for P and I. We didn't want to be rude, but we were literally doubled over in tears of silent laughter--the kind of tears that make you have to blow your nose and clean your glasses. The boys didn't mind a bit.)

P and I regained control of ourselves and our seats, and then sat in silence while the boys filmed take after take of the scene where they descended the stairs and talked over their plan to break in (again?), attack The Boy, and then not shoot him until AFTER they had THE ANSWERS. (See where that comic relief might come in?)

Things got quiet for a while, so P and I resumed the Buffy until we heard the unexpected strains of Avril Lavigne's I Don't Like Your Girlfriend, which mystified us. We stayed where we were, though, not wanting to intrude on the filming. It turns out that The Boy was a security guard of sorts, and his scene involved waking up to the Avril Lavagne song, and then dancing until the criminals came out from behind a curtain and attacked him.

Dog gave The Boy ten seconds to give up the answers (although I'm not at all sure what the questions were), and then proceeded to count backwards from ten. Again, and again, and again, take, after take, after take. Finally, though, The unyielding Boy was shot by Mutt, and fell silent . . . BEFORE GIVING ANY ANSWERS. And Dog, in his disgust, killed the hapless Mutt and drug him outside. Upon Dog's return, though, it was revealed that The Boy wasn't actually dead. A fight ensued, during which A, playing a robot, killed Dog and then said, "Okay, time to watch Dharma and Greg. The not-really-dead Dog deadpanned, "I hate that show," and took a last shot at the robot, who fell over, spectacularly dead, and . . . Fin.

P and I tossed Buffy aside to listen to all of this from the top of the stairs, laughing hysterically. I think I even peed a little when I heard A mention Dharma and Greg, because . . . WHAT?

I never expected to be so entertained, and I know P didn't either, but it was a spectacle. They tried another movie after P left, this time a Bond film that involved me and my best British Accent supplying the telephone voice of M. I got to end my conversation by saying, "And Bond . . . try not to kill him." Classic! That movie didn't last long, however, and turned more into a lot of mugging and ninja-ing for the camera.

Everyone finally started to get tired around 1am, so I saw to it that blankets and pillows were distributed and went to bed with some Wodehouse. They finally played video games the way I expected to until they shut it all down a little after 2am.

I'm glad I'm off today, because as much as I enjoyed them, I needed the peace.