Weird Song Lyrics

Some songs are brilliant; some songs are stupid. Some express your feelings in ways that make you think the songwriter's heart must be exactly like yours, and some just miss the mark. Some are supposed to be complimentary, but come off as insulting or creepy. Let's have a look at some of those, shall we?

Nina Simone is awesome*, but this song bums me out:



My Baby Just Cares for Me

My baby don't care for shows
My baby don't care for clothes
My baby just cares for me
My baby don't care for cars and races
My baby don't care for high-tone places

Liz Taylor is not his style
And even Lana Turner's smile
Is somethin' he can't see
My baby don't care who knows
My baby just cares for me

Baby, my baby don't care for shows
And he don't even care for clothes
He cares for me
My baby don't care
For cars and races
My baby don't care for
He don't care for high-tone places

Liz Taylor is not his style
And even Liberace's smile
Is something he can't see
Is something he can't see
I wonder what's wrong with baby
My baby just cares for
My baby just cares for
My baby just cares for me

Is it me, or is her baby either mentally deficient and without any interests, or is he a stalker? Seriously. I like the sentiment, but this doubt ruins things for me.

And speaking of stalkers and other bad types:



I chose this version because I like Ella, but let's look at the lyrics:

Baby It's Cold Outside

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again…

I added the bold to some of the female lines up there. Nothing like a little Christmas date rape to warm your heart.

And finally, let's turn to Jack Wagner for a classic insult from the 80's:



And the lyrics:

All I Need

Kissing you is not what I had planned
And now I'm not so sure just where I stand
I wasn't looking for true love
But now you're looking at me
You're the only one I can think of
You're the only one I see

CHORUS:
All I need
Is just a little more time
To be sure what I feel
Is it all in my mind
Cause it seems so hard to believe
That you're all I need

Yes it's true we've all been hurt before
But it doesn't seem to matter anymore
It may be a chance we're taking
But it always comes to this
If this isn't love we're making
Then I don't know what it is

All I need
Is just a little more time
To be sure what I feel
Is it all in my mind
Cause it seems so hard to believe

CHORUS

No stars are out tonight
But we're shining our own light
And it's never felt so bright
Cause girl the way I'm feeling
It's easy to believe
That you're all I need

Ahhhh
You're all I need
Oooooh ahhhh

It's the chorus that kills me here. "It seems SO HARD to believe that YOU'RE all I need. Because, frankly, I'm fabulous and you're kind of average."

Screw you, Jack Wagner!

Anyway, there's a little look into my head. As much as I want to enjoy things, I can't. I am bugged, man. Bugged!



*Nina Simone is awesome, but her daughter sings like a Disney Princess. That's a fine thing in and of itself, but not so fine when you've recorded an album full of covers of classic, Nina Simone, gritty songs. Disney Princesses are decidedly not gritty.